Recently, I have been a bit down, not talking much and doing much (kind of good). I've been in high spirit.. It got to a point everything just didn't seem okay, like the world was against me. I felt so alone but I thank God for God.
He reminded me he was there.
I had a chat with someone really close and that person hurt me so deeply. The words they said of me, I never felt so offended in my life that I cried through the night. I was prettty useless to myself the following day.
Went into Uni to do some work and I couldn't concentrate, although the person called earlier to apologise and suggested we meet to talk but sincerely speaking, I don't want to talk about it.
I am human and it's right to get offended but as a Christian, I have to forgive because if I harbour it, it becomes hatred and that may give that person power over me. Yes! Power.. When you hate someone, that person changes your mood whenever you see them, meaning they've the power over you. If they succeed in changing your mood, they've succeeded in controlling a part of you.
So Yes, I forgive that person but forgetting it is something that will need Grace.

There's a saying that everything happens for a reason. I o believe that.
In the wake of this 'anger-event', I got closer to God. God is my best friend, my teacher, my father, my sibling, my mother, my lover and everything. He is the only one who never lets me down! I had to rekindle and strengthen my sweet fellowship with my BFF and like always he was there to listen.

I began preparing myself for my future husband. There is the saying, if you want someone to behave in a certain manner, you hav to first work on yourself ( okay, maybe ht came from me) but yeah, I am beginning to learn of the bible women. What did they do differently, what did they have tat I don't? What qualifies them to be so special? How did they succeed as women of faith?

My Journey starts with Ruth (you probably thinking why not Sarah? I'll come to her later).
Yesterday was Ruth chapter 1, I read that after my devotion and it was so spirit filled. I prayed, prayed and gave God thanks for his word.
I'll share some of Ruth 1 notes with you later.
For now, remain blessed!

When you had no one to help you out,

When you could no longer pay your bills,

And feeding became difficult

I remember the smile on your face

When I sent my child to offer that help

I showed up on time

Can't you see?

When you were so excited about life

Everything seemed fine

But there were those who did not wish you well,

You were sad when you fell ill that morning,

The morning of your special meeting

With these 'special' friends

I saw it coming and had to wave off your downfall

You were upset with me

Can't you see I love you?

I woke you up this morning,

Provide your needs,

Make you comfortable

When I notice you forget me

I step right in and rescue you from my enemy

Because he wants to destroy

Reducing you to nothing

But I won't let that happen

You are not as strong as Job

But my tests for you will guide you to have that faith

I'll always be there for you

But sometimes I need to let you fly on your own

To see how high you can go

When I do that sometimes,

You hurt me by crying, complaining and saying the word I dislike 'why'?

It's you because I love you

I love you so much to lay down my life for you

And I sure did

Do you remember?

When you forget your wings,

Or when you feel so comfortable leaning on me

I push you just a little

But always remember,

I'll be there to catch you

Never give up

And when you get to that height

Please do not hurt me

By thinking you arrived there by your strength

For I am a jealous God

But I'll forever love you my people

Can you now see that I truly love you?

The devil just tries all means possible to make us sad? And we totally yield to his tricks. Following from yesterday I've been so unhappy most especially because of my current job and someone else.
I've been smiling but sad within (I am so good at that but it Kills!) I've been more to myself lately due to these events and the devil keeps bringing up stuff in my head to make me more downcast. Sitting at work and so tired, I sent my best friend from church an email.. I was saying to her that, I know I want a change of job or a better role but I can't take this anymore from my current situation at work. Something caught me and I knew I'm complaining. Complaining about God's gift?
I had to pray to Dear Heavenly Father to forgive because it is wrong to ask God for a gift and when we get it, we begin to say it is not good enough but that was our request.
Oh God help! I feel so sleepy right now and can't type any more. I just thought to share that with you. It's about the close of work. Praise God! I'll save this sleep for another hour.

I was in this just few minutes ago.. I returned from Church! upset, can you imagine? The devil does know how to get us.

You know the bible verse that says God uses the weak things of this world to confirm the wise??? I don't know if this is the perfect verse for what I'm about to say: I returned home this evening kind of in low spirit and was in no mood to talk.. I noticed my flatmates had some visitors and I just went into my room and short the door but I was hungry.. So I told myself I'd angrily go to the Kitchen to get some food but God stopped me and asked me to pray.. I did! I got to the sitting room and a little girl accompanied her Dad to see my flatmates.. My flatmate is about to have a baby and she was in her early stage of contraction. The little girl stopped me and said Hello, then she said "auntie is having a baby" I was forced into a conversation that got me smiling. Finally she said "and that's my baby".. I laughed and said Yes. Now, I'm a lot better! thank God I prayed and thank God for that little muslim child.

I know some people are in Cloud 9 when they get married or are about to. Well, I am in Cloud 9 should I say my first although it has nothing to do with getting married.
About some weeks ago I felt I didn't know my stand with God anymore, I was angry at the world and angry with everything... I cried often and was depressed. I realised I needed to be straight with God to get that happiness and peace. When that happened, life couldn't be any worse.. but I smiled through it (although I did cry at some point but Hey, I realised what??? That's what the devil wishes for me.. I'll keep praying and smiling through the storm).

The Result:
I felt God had so much pity for me.. He looked down in mercy and helped is beloved daughter out of all her problems. I am smiling all the time now, whether I'm offended or not (infact, I barely get offended these days). God has been awesomely good!!! He's worked with me through my difficult tasks and made me see every reason of every day to smile with him (did I say that??) I am excited boy!

Well, you might want to join me in Cloud 9 too!! Bless you.